MY BRACES ARE FINALLY TAKEN OUT!!!!

*throws confetti*

Unfortunately, my retainers' aren't that comfortable- the process of taking them out involves a disgusting amount of saliva which I have no control over...And I talk like a retard at the moment. So. But on the brighter note, no more tightening, no more ulcers due to friction, no more cheek flesh getting poked by wires that are too long...I'll choose retainers over my braces anytime. =)

Oh why you look so sad?
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
But don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
And when the night falls on you
And you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
And hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
But don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you baby
And you're feeling all alone, you won't be on your own
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you...

-I'll stand by you by Rod Stewart.

What makes a woman a woman?

Her hair? Her voice? Her body? Her personality?Her fashion sense? Her looks?

If a woman is to shave off her hair, has a deep voice and is muscular and wears masculine shirt and pants, is she still a woman?

If a man has a gentle, meek and submissive spirit, is he still considered a man?

How does society define genders? How does God define genders? How do we define genders?

Love. An overrated word these days. How big exactly is love? What is its dimension size? How wide? How deep? What is the requirements for it to be properly described as love? Sacrificial acts?

If a child says, 'I love you' to me, I'd probably reply, 'awwww you sweet darling!' But does the child really means it? Perhaps she does...in her own sense. I've always wondered...how does a toddler remember faces? What does her brain hold? How does she sees her world? It is amazing (at least it is to me...) when you point at an object or a colour and a child can tell you what it is. =) Think about it. You don't have to teach her sentence structure. She knows how to say, "Where's my teddy bear?" I mean, you don't have to tell her where a verb should go, or a noun or stuff like that...she picks that up just by listening to the people around her talk. Amazing? It makes me praise God for such...mind-boggling stuff. Or like how career make a person's life revolve around it? Passion makes you see things differently from others.

Example- cooking. Probably many would think cooking is producing edible, supposedly life-sustaining and tasty things. But the heads behind El Bulli or The Fat Duck goes a step further by incorporating science. Molecular Gastronomy. And seriously, after looking at that, I have even more respect for chefs. Cooking is a chemical reaction. What sort of pH, molecules, temperature etc. would produce the best taste for this ingredient? What others would support its qualities, like its texture, without ruining? America Test Kitchen does sooomething like this, they'll test things like how many eggs should the perfect brownie have or what sort of onion makes the best French Onion Soup? Chemistry- scientific and descriptive. It's like how tomato goes so well with basil, or how potato goes well with thyme, or how pizza will never be pizza without cheese, or chocolates without. Um. Cocoa. Ok. That part was corny. But the bottomline is...well, seriously I'm just so overwhelmed I can babble on and on like a damn fool. It's like...music. Music isn't just creating a noise that is relatively pleasant to hear. It is letting the song develop and do what it has to do in order to be complete. Some songs are satisfying to hear, others...not so. They're abrupt, they're too 'high', they're too climatic or monotonous...they're not...right. Not perfect. Not...there. When you really think about it, you really do respect the composers and song writers. How they are inspired, how they developed their concepts and just let their products do the talking for them. As it is with music, so it is with food.

Coming back to the 'love' issue...if someone says that to me...well I guess it depends on the situation. You can either go, "...oh. Uh, ok. Thanks.', you can also freak out...but when the word 'love' comes out of a person's mouth, one who seldom uses this word to another person...one who described what was invisible but yet so visible and affirms that...it brings one back to the real definition of love. And somehow you feel...things aren't so bad. Even though you have an oral test tomorrow in which you have not studied your project or your notes. And you have accounts tutorial to do, plus cell administration and planning of your schedule and you need to tidy your desks and drawers and space because your parents decided to move some furnitures around and you have to get rid of the dead bugs building up in your stash of stuff. And it's 1.30am and you have to be up early the next day for school and the rest of your 2 weeks will be tiring because of so so so many things happening, and just...things have not been going your way at all...

Ohhh...the phone just rang at 1.31am...now that's freakish. Wonder who. Or...did it even ring? Maybe I'm really dead tired and has stopped being sane.

I think I am no longer sane. Good night to all.

Mei Yi...thanks for the gifts, its been long since someone buys gifts as symbols. Part of this entry is dedicated to you. We've done everything- from arguing with each other, to calling at 11.30pm just to talk...and now. We're working!! Time flies huh, we both decided on different paths in life, different beliefs and religions...but it never fails to surprise me, how different we are yet we clicked. I look forward to shopping with you, just don't make me bring out too much money or else...ok, I have to confess I'm a chocoholic and a shopoholic and paranoid perfectionist. What else? If I were to turn back time, I wouldn't erase anything, not even the moments we stopped speaking to each other. I guess those build this relationship up...Friends are indeed a gift from God, I'll stop loving you when the world stops turning. Sounds so damn mushy but...yarh. Here's a public proclamation: Cheers to more than 11 years of friendship (we met at 6 yrs old rmb? And though you forgot to meet me on the first day of primary school, we stumbled upon each other in secondary cca) and so much more to come.

I'M DDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PROJECTS BE DAMNEEEDDDDDD!!!

Then again. I don't think God will allow me to die now, not when I've got cell to lead.

BORED OUT OF MY MIND. RAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAH!!!!

Where's my xbox gammmeee??? I hope sis comes back quickly...in a sentimental mood...I'm sorry I couldn't be there on sun...Miss you guys loads.

My new year resolution is never to do any resolution. Cos whatever you write down, you know you won't keep to it or them. And anyway, God will lead..so whatever you write, may not be what He planned...I'll write my own letter and put it in my file =)

At the mean time, I'm amusing myself trying to figure out what this song means: By the way, it contains some vulgarities. But it's actually...quite a fun song to dance to...

Hey by Pixies

Hey! Been trying to meet you.
Mmmm.
Hey! Must be a devil between us.
Or whores in my head,
Whores at the door,
Whores in my bed,
But hey! Where have you been?
If you go, I will surely die.
We're chained, we're chained.
We're chained, we're chained
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), We're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)

Uh! Said the man to the lady. Mmmmm.
Uh! Said the lady to the man.
She's gone and the whores' like a choir, "Uh, uh!"
All night and Mary, ain't you tired of this, uh?
It's the sound that the mother makes
When the baby breaks
We're chained, we're chained
We're chained, we're chained
We're chained, we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained (chained), we're chained (chained)
We're chained...

Lately I've been debating; did I have a good new year or a miserable one? I suppose it's God's way of telling me to slow down. Or spiritual attack. Or just my body retaliating. I've just been rushing and rushing- shopping, working, meeting up with people, church stuff, worrying about school projects...

And finally, one night after buying my Levis jeans (YAYYYYY!!!!), I vomited everything that I've eaten for dinner (undigested too...after vomiting, my whole throat and jaws actually cramped...T-T ) and fell completely sick. And that was on 30/12/2006. And so, on the last day of 2006, I was incredibly miserable.

I thought I was going to vomit again so I got up from my room, with SEVERE body aches...or cramps...to go to my parents' bedroom toilet, just in time to black out and knock my head on the shelf above my sink. I came around again (with this pain on the part where my left eyebrow arch is), pulled myself out of the toilet and blacked out again on my parents' bed.

And woke up to the sound of water running.

Which means, I somehow opened the tap because I thought I was going to vomit...so God knows how much water I've wasted already. >.>

Anyway, since then, I've been bedridden till today. My mum had to spoonfeed me water and porridge. And I couldn't eat anything besides plain porridge and soya sauce.

I HAVE LOST WEIGHT AGAINNNNN.

The crappy thing was the clinic I usually go to was closed by 12.30pm. And the other clinic is only open from 6pm. So I drifted in and out of sleep, nauseated, aching...I felt so darn old larhhh. Couldn't get up to go to the washroom at all...couldn't take a shower...I switched between shivering under my blanket and perspiring. And when the time finally hit 6pm, it was crowded in the clinic. So I sat on a chair, tried not to vomit, glared in the vague direction of anyone whom I think is staring at me (since I forgot to put on my glasses before I went out...and I had to walk leaning on my mum and an umbrella) and finally...I was diagnosed with gastric flu.

I had to take bloody lot of pills plus some liquid stuff that's supposed to help me with my gastric but didn't...So the whole of yesterday and today, I was bent over with gastric pain- resulting in back pain. But at least I can eat more solid food now, though nothing greasy, oily, milky and creamy...which means. No chocolates, no milk, no ice cream, no sparkling wine, no fried stuff...

And I'm still worrying about school projects...

And whether I can go to school on wed.

Maybe I'll take an MC?

But I hope the rest of you have had a good ending and beginning to 2007 =) Happy belated New year~

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home
-All the small things by Blink 182